are you so shy because you have an std?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
