i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize