I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
