Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
