i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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