Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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