Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
