Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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