Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
