I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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