Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
