Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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