Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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