North Korea, Best Korea!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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