She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
