so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
