Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
