How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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