I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
