Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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