The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
