First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
