This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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