That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
