idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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