last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
