I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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