He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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