So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
