I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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