Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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