she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
