if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
