Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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