I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Damn victory sex feels great
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize