So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
