I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
