And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize