Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dicks are not precious.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
