Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
