brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Who died my cat blue again?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
