Her vagina should come with caution tape.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize