your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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