wrigley field is MILF paradise
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
