in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
