some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize