Your face is a jimmy john
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
