so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
