Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize