wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
