Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
