I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone came in the potted fern
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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