she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
