how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
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