if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
