don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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