haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
